Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~Richard Lamm
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?...Answer : Lost.
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?......Answer : A porcupine.
Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?.....Answer : In a snow bank.
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Answer : Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn?.......Answer : She had mittens
Who delivers cat's Christmas presents ?........... Answer: Santa Paws !
Why do birds fly south for the winter ?..........Answer: Because it's to far to walk.
Blonde Moment!
A Blonde gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You ok?' she says. 'Yes.' he says. 'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says. 'It's best I stay here,' he says.' 'Why?', says the blonde.
The boy says: 'Because, I'm the goalie!!'
Get into the Christmas spirits. Whisky, vodka, gin
On Donner, On Blitzen, On VISA.
May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace; The heart of Christmas which is love.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?...Answer : Lost.
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?......Answer : A porcupine.
Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?.....Answer : In a snow bank.
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Answer : Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn?.......Answer : She had mittens
Who delivers cat's Christmas presents ?........... Answer: Santa Paws !
Why do birds fly south for the winter ?..........Answer: Because it's to far to walk.
Blonde Moment!
A Blonde gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You ok?' she says. 'Yes.' he says. 'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says. 'It's best I stay here,' he says.' 'Why?', says the blonde.
The boy says: 'Because, I'm the goalie!!'
Get into the Christmas spirits. Whisky, vodka, gin
On Donner, On Blitzen, On VISA.
May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace; The heart of Christmas which is love.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
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