A public open letter to:

Mr Doug Wurch

Director, MTS/Allstream Retail Planning & Development.

Why do you continue to hit on, and harass, the five to six hundred customers in the Morden area who, do not wish or intend to pay your silly punitive $1.50 service charge? Are you not receiving full payment from them now? Has your Buffalo public relations section run roughshod over the entire MTS/Allstream operation? You would think by now, you would have come to realize it has been nothing but a total failure. Banks also have service charges, but we have the option of using alternative banks. No such luck with land based phone service in this area. You snuffed that out by buying up Valley Cable. Sending out monthly harassment notices to customers, at approximately $300.00 a month to recover $900.00 worth of illegitimate service charges, would seem absurd to a majority of business service providers. What do you hope to gain by employing these draconian tactics?

950 on your dial

With the passing of American icon (?) Paul Harvey, I thought it timely to suggest that perhaps now would be the time to have a Canadian commentator and observer be a part of Southern Manitoba’s airwaves. In this regard, I contacted Golden West Broadcasting, as they had aired Harvey’s news comments and The Rest of the Story on CFAM 950.
With approximately eight hours of the day devoted to eight American show hosts and pastors, I felt this was not an unreasonable stance to take. Mr. Elmer Hildebrand, C.E.O. of Golden West responded to my e-mail, and indicated that their focus is on local news with an experienced news staff.
Fair enough, but what does this have to do with attempting to showcase Canadian commentators, with their observations and insights? Mr. Hildebrand’s response was, “ On the national scene in Canada we have not been able to find anyone with the standing of a Paul Harvey...even though we have been looking for one for decades”. Pretty feeble effort on your part I’d say. We have local talent, but no national talent? That type of pontificating is more than the average intelligent Canadian mind can comprehend. Good Day!

The 81st Academy Awards

I had intended to pass on the 81st Academy Awards, but somehow my mind got lured into it. My days of seeing every film, and keeping up on the Hollywood crowd has passed. The only exception would be 007 James Bond, and he’s more Pinewood Studios than Hollywood oriented. So I am not familiar with the current crop of actresses, and their activities to remain in the limelight. Names like Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kate Winslet are all just a blur to me. I’m still stuck in the Faye Dunaway, Raquel Welsh, Bo Derek, Ursula Andress, and Julie Christie time frame. However, I believe I have seen enough films over the years to comment on Kate Winslet's "best actress" performance in “The Reader”. If you take out all the sex scenes and bathing scenes, with what are you left? Only some court scenes and bicycling scenes, which hardly add up to a searing Academy performance. But I guess after receiving six previous nominations and not winning, the seventh one is automatic. I have not seen the other nominees' movies, but surely the other four candidates portrayed more dramatic and compelling roles. But if this is considered the Oscar performance, why would I want to see the others?

Stimulas Bill

Just recieved this e-mail providing a simple explanation of the Stimulas Bill.

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?"
The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.
At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.
They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed.
The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.
The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.
The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"
The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.
The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.
However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad. The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been a truly productive action!"
The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."
(The best of "the e-mails")

"Woody Flex"

Ahhhhhh!!!……. the Ford "Flex"! I finally saw one in the flesh (metal) the other day. It caught my eye enough to search for it on the internet. The site describes it as …."something different, unique, all new crossover, radically bold, boxy, eye-catching design". All these superlatives are just rolling off the tongue at Ford’s promotion assembly line. Well Henry, dear Henry, I think it’s more like……"Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue." For all those young Ford engineers and designers, please know the Flex was around in 1947, but it was then called the “Woody”. If you slapped wood grain panels on this 2009 Ford Flex, you would have the 47/09 “Woody Flex” of today. I think Ford has taken a line from James Bond, in that they may have "shaken" their product line, but "not stirred" their imaginations. Now the Ford Motor Company hasn’t requested any bailout money yet, so I guess they are banking all of their money and hopes on the Flex. Check the pictures below, and I think you will agree that this is just the reincarnation of the same old, same old, with a bit of a twist.

1947 Ford "Woody"

2009 Ford Flex

The fake wood is an aftermarket add-on. Available in any color you can get your Flex in, it looks as cool as it can in black with the black roof.

Christmas Potpourri!

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~Richard Lamm

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?...Answer : Lost.

What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?......Answer : A porcupine.

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?.....Answer : In a snow bank.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Answer : Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn?.......Answer : She had mittens

Who delivers cat's Christmas presents ?........... Answer: Santa Paws !

Why do birds fly south for the winter ?..........Answer: Because it's to far to walk.

Blonde Moment!
A Blonde gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You ok?' she says. 'Yes.' he says. 'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says. 'It's best I stay here,' he says.' 'Why?', says the blonde.
The boy says: 'Because, I'm the goalie!!'

Get into the Christmas spirits. Whisky, vodka, gin

On Donner, On Blitzen, On VISA.

May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace; The heart of Christmas which is love.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

POST ELECTION

In a pre-election letter to the editor of the local Morden Times, I had suggested that if Prime Minister Steven Harper did not achieve a majority, he should step down. This issue is even more critical now, with his latest schoolyard bullying tactics. There is plenty of timber within the conservative caucus from which to choose an alternate prime minister. And Mr. Harper could return to the back benches of parliament. For starters, there is Jim Prentice, Chuck Strahl, Diane Alboncz, Lawrence Cannon, Rob Nicholson, and Jay Hill. There is no need for the opposition parties to become involved in governing until their own houses are in order. So it is entirely up to the Conservative caucus and party to restore decorum, not Mr. Harper. What a wonderful Christmas present that would be for all Canadians - peace, harmony, and good government, with a newly minted prime minister, and no election!